She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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