You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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