He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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