she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
