What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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