Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
