If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize