I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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