you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
