Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
