i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
