you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
