so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
