VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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