Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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