quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize