READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So many bounce houses so little time
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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