Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
