I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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