So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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