well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
