so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
