I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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