one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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