we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
