dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
