he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
