what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
