lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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