No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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