His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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