She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize