she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
one might say we're banned from that church
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
