Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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