distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
