She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
