You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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