oh god the rape fog is back!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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