You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
