she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
