the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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