At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
