yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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