Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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