I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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