I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
vagina is talking i cant
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
