We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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