Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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