Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
