I hate all girls vehemently.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
