let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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