yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
