make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
