Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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