I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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