It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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