this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
