...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
