3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
do herpes really smell.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Randomize
