And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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