And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
