honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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