three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
NoShamevember. You game?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
