:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize