dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
