he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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