is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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