I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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