You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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