Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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